People ask questions because I'm hobbling around.
Some I shrug off with what has become my favorite response, "Oh, you know...I turn 30 and suddenly it all just starts breaking down on me, am I right!?! *awkward giggle*"
I feign humor and shrug it off because it's much easier then saying, "I have the human parvovirus (B19)..."
"You have WHAT!? I thought only dogs got that!?"
Or, they sort of back away with this fearful look in their eye as if the virus will lunge out of me and swan dive into their bodies.
These responses are my reasoning behind this blog and sharing some of my very personal details with all of you. No one really understands what it is because no one has ever heard of it. Why is this?
Parvo (as I will now start referring to it as from here on out since you know I'm now discussing the human version, however, feel free to still picture me as a scared pitbull you found behind the dumpster) is actually far more common than you think. How can that be? Because those of us lucky enough to not get over the virus in a few weeks, develop symptoms that become diagnosed by doctors as something else.
Lupus.
Rheumatoid Arthritis (RA).
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.
Fybromyalgia.
We all know someone with the above, or have at least heard the names. Interestingly enough, some of the studies I've read show that many people with RA test positive for parvo.
And, yes. This scares the hell out of me. The unknown of where this is going makes me want to hide away in a cave with a barrel of bourbon (I'd also grow a gnarly beard just for the effect, if it were at all possible.) This blog is my way of working through it. My current bodily shortcomings are constantly on my mind distracting me from everything amazing in life. I'm hoping that dumping it all here for whoever gives a damn to read will help.
Trust me. I know there are worse things that I could have and I deal with that guilt of letting this thing bring me down so much as well. I know so many other things can be wrong in my life. But this IS what is wrong in my life. This is my lot. Here is me owning it.
Enjoy this tune. Ralph McTell - "Streets of London"
I much prefer this version of the song :)
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOM3ucG4iV8
I read these two entries and I got really sad. Then I thought, "Wait a tick. This is MEGAN FREAKIN NASHVEGAS we are talking about here. She won't let some stinkin' virus get the best of her!" I truly believe that. I don't know what the future holds (I doubt anyone does) but I do know this, your life is far more than some diagnosis. It won't be easy, it won't be quick or painless and it sure as hell won't be fun. But you will overcome it. I know you will. I know you will because you are MEGAN FREAKIN NASHVEGAS and you aren't the type of person who lets anyone/anything get the best of you and you sure as hell won't allow anyone or thing keep you down. I don't have any fancy words of advice or nuggets of wisdom that are going to make any of this easier. What I do have is love. Lots of it. For you and your family. Love is all anyone really owns in this world. So when things get you down, remember that all this shit doesn't matter. All that matters is love. And you are loved by many. Dr. Gonzo sends his dog kisses too. Don't give up. Don't give in. Don't go gentle into that good night. Don't stop living. Don't stop loving.
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