Tomorrow.

Tomorrow is the day.

I see the rheumatology specialist bright and early.

My mindset is a mixture of excitement, anxiety, and indifference.

Excitement because it's a step towards something. Positive movement forward.

Anxiety is over the unknown. Despite all of my research and reading, I have no idea, specifically, what will be said to me about what is going on in the silly body of mine.

Indifference because my pessimist, or as like to refer to it as, "realist", side of my brain is talking. More than likely, it will be months, or, heaven forbid, longer, before I could be back on track to feeling even the slightest bit normal.

I forgot one other emotion. Anger. It's an angry day. Blame it on it being Tuesday morning after a long weekend, blame it on all the work piled on my desk, or blame it on my turtle pace. I'm super angry about this shit this morning. I have all the normal life motions I have to go through today, but it's a rather painful one today, so I get to grit my teeth even more as I do them. Fuck you, joints. Fuck you right in the face. End rant.

Alas, Social D will pull me through and I'll recognize that a beautiful beaming sun is out my window soon enough.

Crank it loud, lovelies.

Social Distortion - "Ball and Chain"